Funny Christmas Gifts That Moms Give Kids
Alexandra Folino
There are two types of moms: The ones who beg you not to utter a single swear word, and the ones who curse up a storm on the daily. (Yes, we know there are way more than two types of moms in the universe, but for the purposes of this gift guide, we're gonna stick with these.) If yours falls into the latter category, tell us if this sounds familiar: Every one of your cherished childhood moments was punctuated with a well-timed F-bomb.
Not that we can blame Mom for swearing. From dealing with picky eaters to last-minute bake sales, life as a mother can sometimes be, well, a total sh*t show. That's all the more reason to give credit where credit is due. And besides, a 2015 study found that people who use "taboo" words actually have larger vocabularies—as if your mom needed more proof that she knows her sh*t.
If you're looking for the perfect gift to show Mom your appreciation, we have plenty of suggestions that are sure to make her cackle with glee. For the badass mom who's taught you everything you know—including how to swear like a sailor—here are the 25 best gifts that celebrate the hell out of that potty mouth and spoil your mother like the absolute f*cking queen she is.
On the hunt for a gift that won't get you sent to your room without dinner? Check out our recommendations for the best Mother's Day lunch recipes and Mother's Day dinner ideas for 2022.
1 MILF Mobile Vinyl Bumper Sticker From Hollandaize
Now here's a colorful way to trick out the minivan! This fade- and weather-resistant MILF Mobile Vinyl Bumper Sticker is perfect for the mama who knows what she's working with.
2 Groceries and Sh*t Tote Bag From ToteBagCompany
Available in two sizes, the Groceries and Sh*t Tote can fit all kinds of, well, groceries and sh*t. It even features a gusset as part of its design for optimal roominess. Will shoppers be doing double takes in the produce aisle once your mom walks up with this 100% cotton canvas bag? Yes. Will she give a f*ck? Probably not.
3 A Swear Word Coloring Book For Adults
Forget paint-and-sip classes: Let your mom express her creative side whenever she damn well pleases with the Swear Word Coloring Book For Adults. Whether she prefers markers, crayons, or colored pencils, this creatively vulgar book's single-side pages will be able to withstand nearly any medium without any color bleeding through. Needless to say, you'll both be LMAO-ing as she fills in this f*cking great coloring book.
4 Get the Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel
Every mom could use a sassy dish towel, especially when they say what always needs to be said. Constructed of 100 percent unbleached cotton, this hilarious and super-absorbent Get the Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel is excellent quality—one might even say it's perfect for everything from wiping down counters to whipping your butt because you won't GTFO while she's trying to cook.
5 I'm A Lady But- Engraved Tumbler From Sorry Not Sorry Co.
From changing dirty diapers to chaperoning field trips, let this I'm A Lady But- Engraved Tumbler do all the talking for your mom. With a wide range of colors and sizes to choose from, you can get this messaging printed on everything from a classic water bottle or handled coffee thermos to a wine tumbler for her favorite "Mommy Juice." Sorry Not Sorry Co. strongly advises that you don't put this double-walled, vacuum insulated stainless steel mug in the dishwasher, but that and the plastic open port lid (which comes with a straw-friendly drinking hole) should be a breeze to wash... Especially if your mom has you on dish duty.
6 Droppin' a New Recipe on Your A** Oven Mitt
If your mom loves to cook, she'll appreciate this snarky Droppin' a New Recipe on Your A** Oven Mitt. This sturdy single mitt is thick and well-insulated, which will probably (hopefully) serve as a buffer against both hot dishes and the string of expletives that come out of your mother's mouth when she accidentally burns herself. We're gonna call that a win/win.
7 Grandma's Cuss Words Pencils Set
To write down the day's woes (or the weekend's Honey Do list), gift your favorite mom some retro-style writing utensils like this Grandma's Cuss Words Pencils Set. This six-pack features bright yellow and green colors and hand-stamped black text. The Grandma-approved expletives include "Geez Louise," "Son of a gun," and the ever-popular "Gosh darnit".
8 Mama Needs A Mother Effing Nap Coffee Mug From MintCocoaDesigns
Perfect for new moms... or moms of teens... or really any moms, who are we kidding? The ultra-customizable Mama Needs A Mother Effing Nap Coffee Mug comes in black or white with two size options—11 or 15 ounces—depending on how sleep deprived she may be. Shoppers can include the name of their recipient on one side of this mug, or they can opt to keep the hilarious message on both sides.
9 Let That Sh*t Go Bracelet From SilverFernHandmade
A lot of parents are probably sick and tired of anything that remotely reminds them of Frozen, but this Let That Sh*t Go Bracelet is still a great reminder that when life has you stressing, sometimes the best thing you can do is just say "F it" and let it go. Virginia-based Etsy seller Silver Fern Handmade offers plenty of material options to match your budget—from aluminum and copper to sterling silver and gold filled—for this adjustable cuff. No matter which you choose, your mom is sure to flip her sh*t over the dainty outer dandelion design and inner motivational message.
10 CENSORED Cross Stitch From KaitsCraftingCorner
Odds are your mom has no trouble mincing words, but this CENSORED Cross Stitch can help her say what she wants to say without really saying it. Colorado-based Kait's Crafting Corner also offers plenty of customization options, from different fabric colors to fonts to match your mother's decor. And did we mention it's f*cking framed, too??
11 Don't F*ck Up The Table Letterpress Coasters From M.C. Pressure
She's thinking it anyway, so you might as well get her these Don't F*ck Up The Table Letterpress Coasters. Designed by Florida-based custom letterpress and hot foil stamp shop M.C. Pressure, this straightforward, hand-made coaster set is a great buffer when setting down coffee, tea, or mom-osas. Your mom will thank you, and that sibling—who you always blame for those unsightly coffee table rings—will most definitely thank you.
12 Calm the F*ck Down Bath Bomb Set From Baum Designs
We all need this reminder sometimes! This Calm the F*ck Down Bath Bomb Set includes four luxurious bath fizzes with names like Tropical Oasis, Romance, Mermaid Kiss, and Black Amethyst—all of which smell as beautiful as they look. Plus, each of these five ounce bath bombs is formulated with soothing coconut oil and phthalate-free fragrances.
13 Disney Pixar Inside Out Anger Shirt
Family trips to Disney theme parks are magical… except when you get stuck in line for hours or they run out of turkey legs. For when she needs to use that curse word but ALSO loves Disney, this Inside Out Anger Shirt is right up your mom's alley. You can snag it in a wide range of sizes starting at small and going all the way up to 2XL.
14 FU Candy Heart Hamster Sticker From Certainly Vague
As the saying goes, if you don't have something nice to say... just say it with a tiny, cute middle finger and some some candy heart messaging. No matter which size you choose for this cheeky FU Candy Heart Hamster Sticker , it's perfect for your mom to stick on her water bottle, laptop, or planner. Not to mention, it's durable and water-resistant, so you can be sure that sh*t will last longer than your mom's (waning) patience.
15 Bitchin' Coffee Mug From aubdesigns
She's not a regular mom, she's a cool mom, and every cool mom deserves a Bitchin' Coffee Mug. Available in an 11- or 15-ounce capacity, this premium ceramic coffee mug has a large, easy-to-grasp handle and is even microwave- and dishwasher-safe—which officially makes it the perfect gift for the mom who simply doesn't give a f*ck.
16 Little Box of Obscenities Kit
Tired of your mom's snarky swipes about your failure to clean your room? You could just, you know, clean it, or you could get her this Little Box of Obscenities Kit and have her really spell it out for you on the fridge. This tiny box is filled to the brim with off-color obscenities in the form of 72 themed magnetic word tiles, so she can really exercise her creativity while expanding her colorful vocabulary.
17 Delish: Eat Like Every Day's the Weekend
Is your mom really into food porn? Check out some f*cking great ideas from our Eat Like Every Day's the Weekend cookbook! With everything from Giggle Juice to Grilled Cheese Dippers and Crack Chicken, you'll be able to whip up a mother-loving spread that's sure to impress. You can pick one up for your mom, or pick one up for yourself and give her the gift of not having to step into the kitchen this Mother's Day.
18 I F***ing Love Cooking Ceramic Dish From Shoe House Studio
Your mom's the queen of the kitchen, so doesn't she deserve the best spoon rest ever? Shoe House Studio's I F***ing Love Cooking Ceramic Dish is made-to-order, so you know you're getting a gift that's as special and unique as the person it's for. Glazed in the color of your choice, your recipient can find a variety of uses for this nifty (and naughty) little platter, including a ring holder, soap dish, candle plate, or trinket dish.
19 Granny PottyMouth's Fast as F*ck Cookbook
She may not be a grandma yet, but Granny PottyMouth's Fast as F*ck Cookbook will give your mom something to aspire to. While she cooks you yummy AF meals—like Effin Amazing Chicken, Bad-Ass Beef and Broccoli, and Butternut Squash and Apple Orgasm—she can laugh along with Granny Pottymouth's (aka Peggy Glenn) side-splitting commentary and pick up useful tips about using leftovers.
20 Sh*t I Need to Remember Spiral Notebook From BirchTrailBoutique
As she's probably told you time and time again, parenting isn't easy. From remembering dentist and doctor appointments to adding your favorite snacks to her grocery list, this Sh*t I Need to Remember Spiral Notebook is sure to come in handy as your mom plans out her busy schedule. On second thought... Maybe you should get her two.
21 Ladylike MF Mug From WeArePaperPlane
If some of your favorite memories with your mom include spilling some piping hot tea, consider this Ladylike MF Mug from Paper Plane. Each of these mugs is designed and individually hand-pressed in this England-based designer's studio, and they're even microwave- and dishwasher-safe.
22 Happy F*cking Whatever Personalized Prosecco
Let the good times flow with this Happy F*cking Whatever Personalized Prosecco. You can customize this bottle of bubbly with any message to celebrate Mother's Day, as well as birthdays, holidays, life events, or just making it through another week. After all, what better way to say "Sorry for being a brat" than with a quality bottle of brut?
23 I Love My Assh*ole Kids Oven Mitt
You could get her something less... specific, but this affectionate I Love My Assh*ole Kids Oven Mitt is obviously the best. Some novelty items can be hit-or-miss in terms of quality, but this mitt's thick, super-insulated design will have your mom kicking her old pot holders to the curb. (Bonus points if you were—or maybe still are—the troublemaker who always demanded boxed mac and cheese over your mom's home-cooked meals growing up!)
24 I Like Pretty Things and the Word F*ck Sticker From Sorry Not Sorry Co.
Who says your mom can't be classy and sassy, damnit?? This I Like Pretty Things and the Word F*ck Sticker is specially-designed and printed on high-quality waterproof vinyl sticker paper, then laminated in case, you know, sh*t happens. It's not weatherproof, but whether your mom sticks it on her computer, bulletin board, or water bottle, it'll look good AF.
25 Friday is my Second Favorite F-word T-shirt From Jade + Lemon
You've probably never had to guess what your mom's first favorite F-word is (clearly, it's focaccia, right?), but this Friday is my Second Favorite F-word T-shirt will put a smile on her face nonetheless. Available in a wide range of sizes and a festive peachy color that's perfect for spring, this soft tee will no doubt become part of her daily uniform. Plus, if your mom isn't a fan of pink, just message Jade + Lemon to ask about switching it out for another color!
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Source: https://www.delish.com/holiday-recipes/christmas/g24226345/gifts-moms-who-love-to-swear/
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